Thursday, June 19, 2008

All the pretty things

I wrote a big long blog and got sick of it. It was all about my faults as a character, my disinterest in guys that show me any amount of interest and my being a total flake.
Did you know I love my job? not saying I want to work there forever, but I really do enjoy my job, even though I want to be something more. Right now I sell glasses, frames, spectacles, but I think mostly I just make people who are worried about changing their appearance with a new set of glasses feel at ease and excited about the change. Its fun, making people feel good, seeing someone come in with a worried look on their face and leave with a bigger smile and a lighter wallet than when they came in... muahahah.
I want to do the same in the future, except in a different setting and without making others wallets that much lighter, I would rather lighten the load on their shoulders. I want to work as an art therapist with women and children who have been sexually assaulted. I want to help them work through their emotions and come out stronger then ever! I have seen many a broken woman, I grew up having a self-defense teaching mom who wasn't afraid to tell me about her rape, she was one of the first women who started a womens shelter specifically for rape and incest victims, where women could come for counseling and other help they might need, she is my hero! I partially grew up in that place, with those women, and later sort of became one of them. Its really difficult, and the only thing I had to hold on to to help me work through what I was feeling was art and prayer. Maybe that is why I am so passionate about my faith and art. Good counseling does wonders too. I went to a counselor here in Iceland for a bit, I didn't like her much because of her views of my religion, and because of our difference in opinion when it comes to forgiveness, she didn't want me to forgive, I didn't want to live with hate. When I lived in the states another incident pushed me to go see a counselor there, I went to see her a few times and by the time our counseling sessions came to an end I was feeling absolutely wonderful! Now I love giving hugs, I love standing tall, I love eye contact, I no longer have nightmares about being attacked, I am more outgoing, like when I was 4 years old, I would just go out and make friends with anyone and now I am doing that again and it feels great!
I want to help others, help them know that there is life after rape, sexual assault and incest.
I love life!
Also, Amiina makes my insides hurt so good!

No comments: