Sunday, May 22, 2011

With or without faith

Today was a really difficult day. At church the talks seemed to all be centered around eternal families and eternal marriage and then there was a youth/YSA fireside this evening. I left early, just walked out. The reason? well, the topic was once again eternal families and eternal marriage. Its all I want! and being stuck on a guy who has gotten over me and being stuck on an island that has ash spewing from a volcano stopping all incoming and, more importantly, outgoing flights is sort of depressing. I was trying to keep it together and see if I could learn something or feel inspired in some way to have a better attitude towards life. Then a friend of mine commented on how there are so many good examples of eternal companions in the church... he then goes on to name every single couple in my family, my mom and dad, my sister and her husband, my brother and his wife... by which time I couldn't hold it in anymore... so I just walked out crying. I want to be a wife and a mom and I have lived my whole life trying to be worthy to go to the temple, trying to make every decision on my knees praying.... but I have made so many mistakes lately, and I am tired.
The thing is though... I have learned so much. I just wish I could have been wiser and learned from other peoples mistakes rather than my own. But I know that as long as I have faith things will be right. I have experienced life with and without Gods help. And I know that life is hard either way... but it makes all the difference having faith. I am a child of God and He knows about all my needs and desires.


Danielle said...


I don't think we have spoken in years but I want to thank you for posting your thoughts so openly on your blog. I know you are not alone in your struggles and desires.

Danielle Mathis

Nancy said...

Oh! This post makes me want to hug you and tell you how ridiculous your worries are -- how you are clearly witty and bright and wise AND beautiful (really, your pic posted on your recent post -- so gorgeous!) and how of course you will find a wonderful deserving husband who will think he is the luckiest man alive to have you. And I do think that is all true . . . but sometimes I'm not sure, when someone is feeling discouraged, if that sounds hopeful or just annoying.

I will tell you this though -- it was well less than a year before I was officially married that I was crying myself to sleep at night because even my younger sister was now engaged and there was absolutely NO ONE anywhere in the world for me. I knew that the Lord had some other plan for me that meant I would be single for years and years . . . turns out sometimes the Lord's plan for you is actually just the plan you want, and truly, you never know what might be soon around any corner! (Although, yes, perhaps we'll have to get you off your volcanoe island :)) Then again, maybe he'll come find you there!

MiriamR said...

Dear Unnur,
Someone once told me a good way to get over someone is to try to look at that person objectively and see what kind of person they really are. If he is a jerk to you then he is a jerk and do you want a jerk for the rest of existence. And seeing someone is a jerk should make getting past them possible. I have used the word jerk many times.

Maybe all the talks were there to show you your future. Love you Unnur, Remember to do what is best for YOU in the eternal perspective. Love you keep on the path and you will reach the destination dude.

Unifer said...

I love all yalls awesome uplifting comments! thank you lovely ladies :) ohh and Danielle, I hope you see this! I saw you in a church video that was shown in in between sessions at general conference. I yelled out I KNOW THAT GIRL in front of everyone!! haha it made me miss our old ward!! :D HUGS to you all!!

Hera said...

Einu sinni sagði trúboðsforseti við mig á Íslandi að hann hefði áhyggjur af ungu stúlkunum á Íslandi vegna þess að það væru engir verðugir prestdæmishafar fyrir þær. Ég brosti úti annað. Því þá átti ég sex dætur sem voru ekki búnar að finna prestdæmishafa. Hann sagði að honum finnist að þær þurftu kannski að fara annað til að finna réttlátan prestdæmishafa. Ég hef aldrei gleymt þessu. Kannski þarf fólk að fara annað til að finna þetta fólk.