Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Too many thoughts

I am having too many thoughts. Time to spill and get grounded.

Sometimes enough sleep just isn't enough.
When I was younger I would tell myself things will seem better in the morning. Some days I wake up and don't feel better. On days like that I wonder if I would feel better if I just slept a little bit more and gave this waking up business another go in about an hour or so. Maybe by then things will seem better.

Today is not one of those days. Today I woke up and did Hot Yoga at 6am. Then I went back to bed feeling like my muscles just needed a little bit of rest since I am already sore from yesterdays workout and need to work later on today and be full of energy tonight. It's girls night. Thank heavens for good friends and sushi. Thank heavens for hot yoga and meditation.

I want to be a better person. I already know some things that should change the way I do things, the way I live my life, but I am not changing. Maybe in hopes that my knowledge will change before my behavior does. Maybe in hopes that I am wrong.
I am not wrong... well, I am frequently wrong... but this time I am not wrong.
No more Facebook for the rest of the week. I will see how I feel on Sunday.

The other day I was talking to my friend. I asked her if she ever had days where she had absolutely no plans, nothing specific to do. She said yes. Then I asked her if she hated those days. I had one of those days coming up and I hate those days... or... I hated those days. She said no. I was astounded! Then she said something wonderful. She said; those days give me time to just be with me and I'm like "ahh we meet again".
My day off from plans was exactly that. A much needed break from others. A chance to be with me and feel that comfort that meeting myself again brings.
I love me. I love the chance to be me. I love how I can change and grow and still love myself.

Why do I need to be reminded that I love myself. Why don't I just know it all the time, and be fine with no plans.

I am going to go vacuum my floor.
It's supposed to be therapeutic, cleaning your space and all.

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