Thursday, October 13, 2011

Crushes and other temporary things

Its official, I am a loser.
I signed up for one of those singles websites again and now every time I sign on to my account I think to myself, what the heck am I doing here? I always find something I don't like about the guys who write me on there, even though I am sure they are perfectly wonderful. Its just that I don't think that sort of thing is for me, finding someone online. I like meeting someone in real life, flirting, falling for someone while not knowing if they like me back. Then watching as they slowly start showing you more and more interest until finally they make a move. Its such a wonderful thing to experience. Thats what I want.
I guess I just don't believe online dating is going to work for me, and without at least some degree of faith I am afraid the whole deal is bound to fail.

But I want to fall for someone. I miss the cuddles, its so comfortable, and kissing, holy noodles! kissing is probably one of my favorite things to do.
I am however looking for someone in particular, someone who is heading in the same direction as me in life and in an eternal perspective, and I don't really think that that someone is here in Iceland.

But sometimes I wonder if I should just find someone to be with for now, someone to cuddle and laugh with and kiss when I get bored and lonely. Someone who isn't up for being too serious and doesn't mind keeping it strictly to kisses and cuddles, nothing more.
Any thoughts?
thats right, I am asking you for advice... please


Nancy said...

I suppose the danger here would be that you lose your heart to fully adn compromise what you really want for someone who is . . . not what you really want. I have been so sadly disillusioned with so many marriages lately as I've discovered two of my best friends who seemed so happy have terrible marriages. I think marriage is about the happiest thing on the planet and am now in fear of my own kids having something less than what I have with their dad -- something more like my friends have (which is CRAP).

With that said, you seem like a girl who recognizes and knows what she wants and knows settling won't bring happiness, so I will say that I think there is nothing horribly wrong with having some standbys to tide you over 'til the real deal. DOes that sound terrible? It just seems like I was much more patient and content waiting for my Mike to come along when I had distractions and even just boys to hang out with and make life a little exciting. Go ahead. Don't lose your head or heart, but let yourself have a little innocent fun so you don't go crazy waiting.

Maliana said...

i think dating someone just to tide you over is kind of... a horrible thing to do? of course it is so so important to give people a chance and to really get to know them before making a judgment, but if you absolutely know that this person is not your "the" person, you owe it to yourself and him (lets not forget that men have feelings and hearts too) to move on. its just a milder form of settling. there are so many sad examples of people with marriages they dont want just because they were afraid of being alone.

i feel like thats a big part of being happy with life, don't be afraid! of being alone, of being hurt, of being rejected and all the things people are afraid of.

feel free to disregard all my preachings! but thats what happens when you ask for advice :p

love you!

Barefoot Backpacker said...

I love the way you write first of all. Second, I also tried the online dating thing and it is not at all great. What you wrote about experiencing the flirting and the wondering that comes with meeting someone in person was exactly how it should go. And don't settle for someone just because you're lonely or bored. The right one will come around, all you have to do is be positive and allow that person to enter your life.

Unifer said...

thank you all for your advice :D HUGS!!

Hera said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hera said...

Hmm. Dating is overrated. Just go out into the world and experience new things. Get away from the little eyja. I was a nanny in America when I was 19. It was a different experience. Go to other countries (different from your own ) and stay there as one of the people not a tourist.New Zealand, Japan, Mongolia, China who knows.Go teach English somewhere exotic. I know it is a great experience. Don´t be afraid of the unknown or what other say. Do what is right for you not other people. Sometime we need to do things for ourselves and not others. We can not constantly give and not receive anything in return.
Have fun for yourself sometimes without wondering if it upsets others. You are the one who has to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
I have lived in many different countries and cultures and it has been a great experience.
Love you always Unnur. Stay happy and look forward not backwards.