Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Rock star memories

A long long time ago I sang in a pub with my friend the rock star. I loved him then, and still love him in a way. Right in front of us was this girl. She was beautiful. Long blond wavy hair and deep sparkly eyes. She looked like the kind of person I'd be friends with. But she loved him too. I had seen her at a lot of his gigs, the way she looked at him from a distance and glued her body to him when they were close. I was jealous of her the first time I saw them together. But I thought she didn't really like him at first, I thought she was just a drunk floosy. But then she was there again at his next gig, a little less drunk and a little more sparkly eyed. It didn't hit me until that gig he asked me to help him out with though. She loved him. And she was jealous of me.
I sat up there with him, singing and joking around flirtingly in front of everyone.
Then I saw it; She was looking at me the way I imagine I must have looked at her that first night I saw them all on each other. I still offered to drive him home that night. Later, he borrowed her guitar for another gig. But I was the one he took backstage before the show. He hugged her tight, playfully and flirted some more after the show. But I was the one he walked home.
Last week I saw her again. It was at a café. I was there with a group of my friends. She was our server. It wasn't until after I ordered that I realized she could spit on my burger and I would never know. I don't think she did. In fact, we were a little bit too nice to each other the whole night. She remembered me too.
It was then I realized, we both deserve better. She deserves someone who will give her a ride home after his gig because she is too drunk. Someone who will borrow her guitar, take her backstage before the show and walk her home after the gig. She deserves someone who will want her by his side when he needs a backup at his gig. Someone who will joke and flirt with her on a stage in front of everyone at a pub.
I deserve someone who wants me and only me glued to his body, someone who will borrow my guitar, take me backstage and hug me and flirt with me after the gig and then walk me home. I deserve someone who will want me by his side for all of his gigs, flirting with me and telling me he loves me, in front of anyone who happens to be there, for the world to see.

Also, after watching "One Day" I have come to a conclusion.
I am alone, not lonely

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