please don't have a seizure! sorry I am always yelling at you...
Dear Guðmundur Vignir Þórðarson,
I saw your picture in the paper today. I find you super attractive.
You must think I hate you. Especially after yesterday, I got you sunburned and totally went way over the line with my bending over while painting kids faces for the independence day celebrations. I am sorry I made your back muscles work so hard! you did a great job, and I am sorry you feel bad today!
Please get better and know I love you... inspite of your fat bum and trunky thighs... But just so you know, I think you look like a larger version Marilyn Monroes body! totally awesome!