So, after a week of hellish pain and emotional turmoil I woke up Friday morning, and started my day by reading the scriptures, praying, exercising and meditating for about 30-60 minutes. After my morning routine I stood there in my lovely room and realized there was no flow of energy... my room felt as small as a closet (it is quite big though!). So I told myself I would just move my bed. However, by the end of the day my bed was about the only thing I hadn't moved. Everything else on the other hand had been moved!!
My bed covered in clothes and stuff
This is my junk pile, which I threw out promptly! I had two other piles about the same size. A pile of stuff thats not rightfully mine and needs to be returned, and a pile of stuff to give away. Also, I packed a few boxes of stuff to put in the storage room.
Now everything has a place and my room is lovely! There is space and air and order... just the way I like it!
After doing this I felt stronger, and more grounded. I didn't cry for four whole days!
Today however, I forgot my morning prayer, did not meditate, ate a couple of doughnuts instead of exercising, packed my school bad way too heavy and walked all over town with it on my back for no reason. A few things went right... but most things just went wrong. And then I came home, to my big lovely safe room.... and felt all alone.
p.s. I still listen to country music every day and wish I had a stage, a mic and a good band up there with me.