This morning I woke up with a strange feeling in my stomach. I thought maybe I had had a bad dream, but then I remembered what happened yesterday and felt myself sinking as I realized it wasn't a dream at all. It hurt. But then I decided to move on. Hope and faith is always better than that hurting feeling.
Aside from my regular private crying sessions, today was actually quite nice. After battling with my brain for about an hour this morning, trying to turn it off and go back to sleep I finally gave up, prayed to God and then turned on the light and some music. One of the first things I did was ask myself "what could make you feel better today little Unnur?" and the answer wasn't hard to find. I wanted flowers and a hug.
I started crying while doing my makeup right before noon, and then for the rest of the day I found myself crying a tiny bit every two to three hours, just to clear out some heavy duty emotions I didn't want to carry around.
On my way to work I had to drop off a DVD at the library. My brother was going to take me there at 11:30, but he was late due to a series of unfortunate events, but nonetheless we made it to the library at 11:45 and just as I walked in I knew why he had been late. It was so that I could run into my grandmother at the library. We sat down for a little chat and she taught me some important life lessons. I felt like I wasn't alone after that, like there was hope and love and happiness. I am pretty sure my grandma is an angel, she was my angel today!
At work I was surrounded by angels. I love my job! I love that I get to take care of people who can't do it on their own. They teach me so much and give so much!! One of the girls there, who is mentally handicapped gave me endless amounts of hugs and made me laugh. A lady who also lives there listened to me as I explained what I was feeling, I don't know how much she understood, but at the end of my senseless rambling I said "but isn't it better to just smile and be happy than to be heartbroken?" and she replied "yes, that is always better than the other option" and then she gave me the biggest smile and laughed. It melted my heart and made me so thankful for the opportunity to have this job and learn from these wonderful people. I am pretty sure they are angles, they were my angels today!
I went to Friend Home Evening after work. Some friends ate together and then we had a short spiritual thought and a game and refreshments. We were all listening to the lesson when my brother leaned over to me and said "you should go outside, there is someone there who wants to see you" and I got super excited and for a minute I thought maybe "he" had changed his mind.... but I quickly pushed that thought aside and labeled it stupid and redundant... I have made up my mind and thats that. Anyways, I got out and there was my friend who always seems to be an answer to my prayers!! There she was, carrying flowers that she then gave to me and then gave me a hug. I didn't realize until I was hugging her that that was exactly what I had asked for this morning, to make my day better. It was just a reminder to me how wonderful life is!! I am pretty sure my friend is an angel, she was my angel today!
These things I would have said today if things were different:
- I asked if I could ask a blessing on the food at dinner at work today. It was only A, B and me, but A was super excited and after the prayer she said "I was pleased with that". It made me smile. B didn't seem to mind the praying, but he didn't seem super excited about it either.
- I miss ...
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