All the movies in my head

via we heart it

There are some nice things I don't want to forget. Things that were said, and written, that made me smile. Things that made my heart feel full.
I erased them sooner than I thought I would. Its not that I wanted to forget them, or that I was mad, or even that I was ready to move on, but I needed to move on, and in a way I wanted to move on. I don't want to be left behind.

Sometimes I picture my life as a movie, today it was an era movie (please listen to this song as you read the following).

I was a Jane Austen character. Sad, and lonely, sort of like Catherine in Northanger Abbey after she came back home from Bath and life seemed to be as good as over for her. The man she loved was somewhere else, and she was just terribly lonely and full of regret. But in my case the regret is different....well... maybe not. I was silly and stupid in a lot of ways, not the same ways as Catherine, but silly and stupid nonetheless. I saw the movie continuing with my character befriending a nice young man, someone my character wouldn't initially fall in love with, due to her lack of ability to let go of the past. One day after a long time spent hoping the love of her life would return, he finally does.

My character is so excited, thinking that he finally came to his senses and has realized he has missed her and loved her all this time and experiencing the world without her is pointless. However, to my characters dismay she sees upon greeting him that he is not alone. He brought with him a woman he fell in love with. An exotic looking woman, someone so very different from my character.

My character spends the next days and weeks trying to piece back together her broken heart. Her purely platonic friend is there by her side through it all, and somehow she realizes he has always treater her like a queen. Something the other dude never really did. She falls madly in love with the friend and hopes it is not too late, and wonders how she could have been so stupid, to not see how much he loved her from the very beginning and all the while she was waiting for someone she didn't even want to spend the rest of her life with in the first place.

They get married and have 15 kids and nice cottage with a hundred different flowers in the backyard and a german shepherd. While the other guy gets an STD and loses all his money gambling.... just kidding. He marries the exotic looking woman and lives happily ever after too!!

And just so we are clear on this, I am not in love, the similarities between this story and my real life are only coincidence... or an inspiration for my already over active imagination. I guess I am like Catherine in a lot of ways. I make up silly stories in my head. They keep me entertained during slow and seemingly eventless moments.