For the past couple of night I have had horrible dreams. The kind where I am angry at everyone and yelling half the time. Not the most pleasant dreams to have. Then I wake up and wonder why the heck I am so mad in my sleep. I am happy.
I figure its because I haven't been sleeping enough which supposedly causes nightmares. Before the angry dreams there were zombie dreams, but I like those way better because there is something awesome about killing zombies in your sleep. There is nothing awesome about yelling at your mom in your sleep.
So instead of sleeping in on a Saturday morning I am blogging about my day so far. Its 10am. You'd think nothing too exciting would have happened by now. But I made a life changing discovery. One that needs to be shared with the world.
Heres a whole lot of rambling, leading up to the discovery:
Those who know me personally know that I cry quite a bit. My friends and family may not know however that I really enjoy crying. I cry when I am happy, I cry when I am sad, I cry when I get mad.... I sound so monotone. My only expression of emotions = crying. Thats not entirely true. There can be a huge different between crying and crying, and when people know if I am happy or sad when I cry I know they know me.
Sometimes however, I like crying just to cry. Its like... ok, so you know how you shower when you are dirty, but sometimes you take a bath just to relax. Sometimes I cry because of what I am feeling, and sometimes I just cry.
I have blogged about my love for Grey's Anatomy before. Its a show I love watching, not just because the characters are awesome but mainly because I know I will get to cry for no good reason at least once a week during the fall/winter months. It feels amazing!
So this is where my discovery happened. It was the end of todays episode and with tears running down my face I wondered "why does this TV show make me cry so much... every freaking time!!" and as I was watching Callie's face (one of the main characters) I felt like I knew her and all of a sudden I was so sad that *SPOILER ALERT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT BEEN KEEPING UP* Mark died and it got terribly obvious to me that I feel like these fictional characters are my friends. This is ok when my brain can tell what is real and what is not. But then I discover, if I go crazy, I am quite possibly going to think I am a character on Grey's Anatomy. This discovery has changed my whole entire life!
...Not really ...but kind of.