progress...

Turns out being happy can also result in lots of blog posts... Last night was totally awesome and awkward!
The short version of the story goes something like this: I was in charge of the FHE lesson for the young single adults, so as I am passing out hymn books two guys from a foreign country were talking in their language which I do not speak, and when I turn around I see they are both looking at me so I spontaneously say "stop talking about me" not really thinking they were talking about me for real. However, the two of them go red as a tomato in the face and surprised say "how did you know we were talking about you?!?" which then got me all awkward! So I just laughed and went on with family home evening... After FHE one of the guys came over and told me they were "just talking about how beautiful you are, and wondering if you have a boyfriend, because I want to...." and the rest of it I didn't understand. It made me laugh....

I have a group of friends whose lives seem to be perfect. They have the husband, the kids, the house, the car, the callings, the jobs, the life I wish I had. It has been difficult lately feeling happy for those friends. I haven't read their blogs for forever because I couldn't handle it. It felt like going to a friends house after Christmas when they got all the presents I wanted and all I got were PJs and a book.
Today I read a blog written by one of those friends... and for the first time in a long time I was so happy for them, that they have all those wonderful blessings. But at the same time I was happy to return to my PJs and book after reading the blog. See, my book is awesome! and I love PJs! I can't wait to have the family, the house, the car and the whole deal, but I am thankful for what I have too. How could I not be! I am so thankful!! hahah and I can't even explain why... I can't say "I am so thankful for my life because it is honestly so much better than my friends lives" I don't believe thats true... I am not comparing anymore. I am just thankful!! its not complicated, its just true.

For some reason I can't forget a dream I had about this friend whose blog I was reading. I had the dream a long long time ago. I was standing in a tall tall building in a beautiful room. The room was all I ever wanted. As I was looking at the room a man walked up to me and told me all this belonged to my friend, then he pointed me to the window and showed me the view outside, and said all of that belonged to my friend too. As I looked at the view I noticed the building was growing taller and the view was getting even more beautiful, and I started getting jealous because all this, the room and the world belonged to my friend. Then the man told me "don't worry, you are next".
Many of my friends have gotten married and started families and bought houses and cars since I had that dream. Many of my friends are starting relationships right now, relationships with wonderful men. I wish I had that. Maybe I wasn't next. But I am still living and loving life.
I may not always remember, but I can be patient. I am happy for my friends, for their blessings and their happiness. I am also happy for my blessings. I am very thankful :)